Immersing ourselves in nature has a deeply beneficial impact on us: physically, psychologically and emotionally. It’s what I tap into when I coach clients outdoors. Nature helps us to reconnect with ourselves; it can bring us back to our senses and help us feel grounded and clearer about what matters most - particularly when life becomes narrow or overwhelming.

Most of us have a critical and harsh attitude to ourselves, judging ourselves as not being good enough, that we SHOULD do more, that we SHOULD be better. Or we acknowledge something that we know is true and in the same sentence we de-validate what we’ve just said by saying yes BUT.

Unlike IQ, which does not change significantly over a lifetime, our Emotional Literacy and Emotional Intelligence (EQ) can develop with our desire to learn and grow. Our brains are wired to react in certain situations but we can re-wire the circuitry with repeated practice and application.

Getting fit, striving for a ‘healthy body’ is top of most new year resolution lists, but what about a healthy mind? One of my mindfulness teachers, Vidyamala Burch, once said to me: Working with our mind is one of the most remarkable things we can do with our life. It wasn’t anything I hadn’t heard before but the way she said it, deepened my understanding of the significance of what she said and the potential to experience my life differently.

I’m not someone who has many friends. I have a good handful of close and trusted friends with whom I’m in regular contact. We are in each other’s lives and share important themes – from what moves us to what concerns us. And, we bear each other in mind in difficult times and rejoice in each other’s moments of joy without envy.  

The value of friendship has been a constant in my life. It is, I think, because I come from a very small family. From an early age I had to be self-reliant but equally reliant on friends. Friendship takes as much effort and care as developing and maintaining a healthy intimate relationship. And yet, sometimes, we take – I certainly have done this many times in my life – friends for granted.

Training our mind is one of the most important things we can do. It determines our mental health, our outlook on life and how we feel in ourselves. Mental health issues affect around 1 in 4 of us every year and yet, we still talk much more easily and publicly about physical health - how often we exercise the body and what we do - or don’t do - to keep it fit and healthy, than we talk about our mind.

Perhaps more acutely than ever before, there’s a real sense of uneasiness about what’s happening in the world, in the news, in conversation with colleagues and with friends. Yes, there is this happening and a lot of good stuff too. Awareness and choice can help us navigate these continued testing times.

We often experience that we want to change but not actually change. The ego, or self, is always concerned with maintaining the status quo, to keep us in our comfort zone to protect us and to feel safe, but the Self knows there is more, that wants to go beyond the self, to thrive, to live a wider, richer life, that wants to have a purpose.

In the midst of crisis, challenge, difficulty 'What's that good for' can help us bring awareness to what's actually happening, can help us gain perspective on the whole situation. What the question really means is: What purpose does it (this situation, this experience) serve? What is the learning here?

How can we live well in the face of events that are too big, complex and messy to comprehend and that we struggle to make sense of? Events that show us how fragile our life is to the point of sheer overwhelm and that what we have can disappear from one day to the next – as it is for so many in the Ukraine.

Love: we need it, we want it, we long for it, we can’t live without it. Our very emotional survival depends upon it. And it goes both ways: Loving and being loved. Loving and receiving love is one of the most difficult things in life. One that causes us most heartache and difficulty. Why is this?

When we stop what I call ‘selfing’ and start opening ourselves up to others and all life around us, our experience of life changes fundamentally. This doesn’t mean giving up on ourselves or disappearing into the crowd. It means understanding that the boundaries between you and I are porous, between all beings.

If we have a mind that is out of control, i.e. overthinking, ruminating, worrying, then that will become the habit of the mind. If we have a mind that is trained to rest in more open, responsive and creative states, then that will become the habit of the mind. Life then becomes more expansive, enjoyable – life can flow through us.