How to be with the state of the world?
Perhaps more acutely than ever before, there’s a real sense of uneasiness about what’s happening in the world, in the news, in conversation with coaching clients and with friends.
The dry, hot summer turned so many of our green spaces into quasi-deserts and when I walked on the parched land of my local park, it told me something about the state of the world and I felt deeply concerned.
A client recently began a session by sharing her anxiety and sense of overwhelm about what’s happening in the world. When this happens (as is my own experience), it is very easy to slip into despair and despondency. In these moments I find The Circle of Influence very helpful.
Image: my own
The orange circle represents the sphere of the individual, i.e. you or I. The yellow circle symbolises others and the green circle stands for the world around us.
We can only ever feel and be in control of ourselves: what we think, how we speak and communicate with others, how we behave and the actions we take.
And through our thoughts, communication and actions we cannot control or change others – but we can have influence over them - and we can have concern and care for the world. Of course, through our actions we can also influence the impact we have on the world but we cannot control it, and largely we can also not influence major changes in society and life. Those decisions are in the hands of politicians.
Photo: Porapak Apichodilok
When we feel despair for the world, we dwell in the circle of concern and it feels as though everything is happening to us. We become the victim and all we can do is moan and despair. It’s a painful place to be in. And although the state of the world is indeed severe, it’s important to keep perspective on things, to come back to our circle of control to what’s happening right here, right now in our life. And because of our inbuilt negativity bias, that helped us survive as a species, we have a tendency to focus on the negative, and so often, and when we are not aware, the good stuff in life passes us by.
When we do look more closely at what’s happening right here, right now, we discover that the many things that we have, enjoy and appreciate as well as things that we can control, such as the way we live, our life style, the choices we make every day, the people we surround ourselves with.
We can also always remind ourselves that in this very moment: ‘I’m fundamentally alight. I’m here, I’m alive, I’m breathing.’ It helps us out of catastrophic thinking and into the body, into our direct experience, into life as it happens. It helps us broaden our awareness of how things really are moment by moment. It enables us in the midst of everything to have more stability, love, calm and confidence about ourselves and life. And every person we come into contact with, is affected by it because we are interconnected. This is not to deny what’s happening in the world but to helps us stay grounded every day while making wise and aware choices about the thoughts we engage in and the actions we take.
Photo: Lisa Fotios
Try this wonderful and hugely grounding practice that I call the ‘Three types of appreciation’:
Create some time, 10-15 minutes. Find a comfortable and quiet spot in your home at a time of day when you feel most awake and energised.
Settle into your body and open up to whole body breathing. You may want to place both hands on your belly for a moment to come into closer connection with the breath - really feeling it vs thinking about it.
1. Appreciation for what we have = gratitude
The first stage of this practice is about bringing to mind all the things we have in our life, e.g. health, access to health care, family, partner, children, job, green space nearby, close friend(s), food on the table…Dwell in each thing you have for a while and sense what it feels like in the body to appreciate what you have. You might feel a warm sensation in your chest or a soft, open and warm whole body feeling.
2. Appreciation for the difficulties we’ve had in our life = understanding
The second stage is about appreciating and understanding the hardship, difficulty and challenges we’ve experienced in our life since childhood. This is simply to acknowledge and bring understanding to our difficulties. It’s not about blaming anyone for it. There is no-one to blame for anything here. You might say to yourself: ‘Yes, what I experienced when I was a child wasn’t easy at all. I often felt scared, unsure or shy….’ Or ‘Yes, when I was young, I often felt unloved and lonely….’ Or ‘Yes, it was hard in school, I was bullied by other kids, and I often felt on the outside….’.
3. Appreciation of beauty = aesthetics, the good stuff in life, joy
The third stage is about appreciation of beauty, really seeing the beauty in our life, in a person, the way they are in the world, their qualities, seeing beauty in things - the arts, nature, all life forms. Spend a moment every day to open up to beauty in your life. We are surrounded by beauty. Notice it and let it in, absorb it and let it affect your whole being.
If you need some help navigating our current times, why not book an initial complementary coaching conversation while walking in Victoria park or online.
Email me at karen@greenspacecoaching.com
Coaching Immersion Days in Nature
We are in the hight of summer now. Bookings are open until October for my Coaching Immersion Days in nature on the stunning Seven Sisters south coast or in the beautiful Surrey Hills. If you love the outdoors and long for some time and space away from your day-to-day work-life routine to enter into a deeper conversation with yourself and how your life is going, then why not book an initial chat to benefit from a Coaching Immersion Day.
Email me to find out more and/or to book your complementary initial coaching conversation.
You can sign up to my newsletter here.