Do you want to make a change?
Some years ago a wise friend said to me, “What would happen if you relaxed into your experience as it is and went with the flow of change that is already happening?”
We often experience and have to work with the conundrum in life, that we want to change but not actually change. The ego, or self (with a small s), is always concerned with maintaining the status quo, to keep us in our comfort zone to protect us and to feel safe, but the Self (with a capital S) knows there is more, that wants to go beyond the self, to thrive, to live a wider, richer, more expansive life that wants to have a purpose and serve others.
It takes courage, curiosity and trust in ourselves to move beyond the self. We need to make a conscious effort.
I often say to my coaching clients that meaning arises by making an effort, by honestly looking at ourselves, by stretching ourselves to live fully, by waking up to the preciousness of life. Of course, it’s a choice. We don’t have to do anything but we can.
Wanting to stay put and wanting to thrive creates resistance to change which can be painful and stifling.
When my friend suggested I try going with the flow of change, almost instantly I could truly relax and let go of resisting change. I understood – not just in my head – but in my body and heart too, that everything is changing all of the time, inside me and beyond me.
Foto by Chris Lawton
So it could be an interesting exploration to bring awareness to what we don’t want to change, what we are attached to.
We can be attached to people, ways of behaving, ways other people behave, having certain comforts, having access to certain goods and services, anything we need to maintain our sense of self (small s) and security.
To bring awareness to what you don’t want to change, you might want to make some time to reflect on some areas in your life where you have felt stuck, stifled and perhaps fearful of change. Do this with curiosity and kindness. The aim is to increase your awareness of yourself and where you might limit yourself and your life.
That’s the place to start. From there you can take small steps asking yourself: What do I want instead of, for example: doing this job, being in this relationship or being single, eating junk food, spending time with people who are not on my side, not exercising and feeling low, unfulfilled and unfit?
Really connect to your longing here, your desire: I want to be in a job where I can use my skills and talents, I want to eat healthy food and feel alive and good in myself, I want to go dancing to experience joy, I want to hang out with friends who support me, I want to be in a secure and loving relationship…
Once you’ve got it, you can begin to change, do something differently. That’s the process of change. It’s possible for everyone. The secret is to know what you want and to take small steps that feel manageable. The payoff is huge. It will enrich and enhance your overall experience of life.
If you need some support and guidance, feel free to book an initial complementary coaching conversation with me karen@greenspacecoaching.com while walking in Victoria park, east London or online.
Coaching Immersion Days in Nature
We are in the hight of summer now. Bookings are open until October for my Coaching Immersion Days in nature on the stunning Seven Sisters south coast or in the beautiful Surrey Hills. If you love the outdoors and long for some time and space away from your day-to-day work-life routine to enter into a deeper conversation with yourself and how your life is going, then why not book an initial chat to benefit from a Coaching Immersion Day.
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