How do you make transitions?
It’s the end of the summer holiday season and many of us need to make the transition from holiday to work and/or school mode. We often expect this to happen easily and give ourselves little time and space to transition from one to the other, treating ourselves a bit like a machine that functions seamlessly and can go effortlessly from one mode of operating to another at the press of a button.
However, we are not machines, we are complex beings, experiencing a myriad of feelings, emotions and mental states, interconnected with others and the wider fabric of life.
When we are on holiday or on a retreat, spending time away with friends, our partner, family and children or on our own, we enter a different mode of being. Often, and ideally, we step out of daily routine and structure, out of doing mode of mind and more into being mode of mind, allow ourselves to plan less, to be spontaneous, to go with the flow, to play and have fun. The body, mind and heart can relax, restore and recharge.
Photo by Hans
Taking the time to process our experience
Returning from being away to work (or other) can feel very jarring if we don’t give ourselves some time and space as well as self-care and self-kindness. As human beings, we need time to process our experience, to let life flow through us, to make sense of what we’ve lived, to feel what we feel before we turn towards the next thing.
This is also true the other way round. Many of us need time to make the transition from work mode into holiday or retreat mode: time to arrive by slowing down, doing little and resting.
Often when we return from an enjoyable time away with others, a loved one, friends or family, it can bring up feelings of low mood and sadness caused by a sense of loss and even grief at parting and something ending. Some of us find it hard to let go of precious and enjoyable time spent, want to hold on to it, resist the change, which can feel painful.
Returning from a relaxing and spacious time away with little stimulation, to a full work schedule, life admin, the news and social media often over-stimulates the mind and leads to tension in the body, severe headaches and restless sleep. So pacing the information intake and workload is crucial during transitions.
Transitions usually take between one and three days depending on our personality type. Some of us are more adaptable than others. Try not to compare yourself to others but meet yourself exactly where you are and find out what you need to transition well.
By nature, transitions can feel a little uncomfortable because of our resistance to change but they don’t have to feel jarring or throw us into low mood or depressive states or feelings of isolation.
Photo by Jackie Samuels
What are the transitions in your life?
There are big and small transitions in our life all the time. Transitioning from Sunday to Monday, from night to day, from being in connection with others to being on our own again, from being at work to being at home, from being in nature to being in the city, from formal to informal meetings…
In August I spent ten days with my 84-year old mother who lives in Germany. I visit her twice a year. Going there and coming back is a transition for me. Stepping out of my life in London and into her life. She’s lived on her own for decades and has her set ways. And so have I. But I visit her home so I feel I need to adapt to her environment, make the transition into a different rhythm and order of things. It takes time. In order to transition well, I never make any plans on the first day of my visit. I just spend time with my mum, go for a walk on my own, do little, potter around, get enough sleep.
Here are some tips to do transitions well in your life:
1. Begin to notice transitions in your life more - the small and big ones
2. Acknowledge the feelings that come with transitions: sadness of parting and something precious ending, the joyful anticipation of a holiday, adventure, something new
3. Feel the resistance to transitioning, to change and release into the flow of life by pausing, slowing down and breathing (vs holding the breath)
4. Set realistic and manageable tasks for day 1 of any transition, for example when transitioning back to work, make sure you do tasks that don't require major focus and concentration such as catching up with emails, admin tasks, diary management etc.
5. Take regular and short breaks throughout the day, step outside, go for a walk.
6. Practice kindness to self: 'This is a transition day, it's ok to take it slowly.'
7. Break down the workload, life admin, or things you want to visit / do on a holiday into manageable tasks / things so that you have a sense that you can do it vs feeling overwhelmed
8. Remember that everything changes all of the time…
If you need a little help with making transitions in your life easier, why not book an initial complementary coaching conversation with me?
I offer coaching while walking in Victoria park, East London, as well as online. karen@greenspacecoaching.com