Do you know your mind?
Very few people answer when asked, “How are you?” - “Life is good, thank you, I feel well in myself and at ease.”
Why is that? Yes, life is difficult and tragic. At the same time, this precious human life is also to be enjoyed.
However, for many of us everyday life feels full, demanding and complex and we live in a state of contraction with the mind and heart closed like a fist caught up in anxiety, worry, defensiveness and fear.
In my own experience this is how my life felt most of the time some years back when I was crippled by anxiety and worry about other people’s judgements and never feeling good enough, disconnected from myself and others. A painful place to live life from.
What would it be like if we learned to open the fist in our mind as described so beautifully in this line by 18th century Japanese poet Tejitsu?
And she opened the clenched fist in her mind and fell into the midst of everything.
Photo by Norbert Kundrak
Does there really always need to be a resolution?
It’s been my practice for many years now to find ease and release in the midst of everyday life. Not an easy practice but it’s changed how I relate to myself, how I experience life, relate to others and stay in connection with the more than human world, remember that I’m not separate but interconnected with all life. It’s possible for everyone.
If we have a mind that is out of control, i.e. overthinking, ruminating, worrying, then that will become the habit of the mind; the mind feels like a fist and the heart closes down.
If we have a mind that is trained to rest in more loving, open, benevolent, responsive and creative states, then that will become the habit of the mind; the mind feels like an open hand. Life then becomes more expansive, enjoyable – life can flow through us.
Photo by Jacqueline Munguia
How can we begin to move from a contracted mind and heart (fist) to a responsive, curious and creative mind and heart (open hand)?
I love the image of the fist and open hand as a metaphor for the quality of our mind.
This quality of the mind is neither fist nor open hand, it’s a fluid process between fist and open hand, open hand and fist.
And she opened the clenched fist in her mind and fell into the midst of everything.
When I fall into the midst of everything I’m suddenly really here in the present moment, the only place in which we can really live. I can breathe again and broaden my awareness and perspective on things. When we are really here in our direct experience, it’s impossible to be caught up in worry and rumination.
Here, I can remember to pause, to take a deep breath, to see everything as it is which is always so much more than I think! And all of a sudden I can see the good stuff again, connect to the people I have in my life, and the joy, mystery and vastness of life itself.
Try this – it’s a hugely powerful practice:
Whether at work or at home, notice the mind when it feels like a fist - tight and tense. There is always a physical sensation that points to a contracted mind (temples, forehead, scalp) - and as a result, a closed heart, a sense of feeling disconnected, isolated, lonely, down.
Pause and take a deep breath, release and find ease. Fist – opening hand; opening hand – fist…
Do this many times a day and notice how the quality of your mind and heart changes. The good thing about this practice is that it can be done everywhere: while working or cooking, when talking with someone, before a presentation, even in the executive suite and board room!
Expecting the worst, you look, and instead, here’s the joyful face you’ve been
wanting to see.
Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes.
If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralysed.
Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding,
The two as beautifully balanced and co-ordinated as bird wings.
- Rumi
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