Why aren’t we taking ourselves seriously?

January. A new year. For many of us, a time when we make resolutions to change the way we live. Been here before?

Do we need to set these intentions every January in order to live the life we want to live? Or is the question: How serious are we about our life? 

Intuitively we know what is good for us, to live this one and precious life well and purposefully.

So why don’t we take our life more seriously? Why do we keep finding ourselves caught in unhelpful habits? Beating ourselves up for wasting a whole day recovering from a hangover. Frittering hours away on social media. Spending time in a job that is unfulfilling - or in relationships that drain us.

Why bad habits aren’t easy to kick

It’s our unconscious, ingrained habits that run our life – as well as our human tendency to stay put with the familiar, because it makes us feel safe and secure. Trouble is, at a deeper level this can make us unhappy and dissatisfied because we also need to thrive, flourish and live a meaningful life.

The good news is we can wake up to our habits. They are just habits, and we can change them. It’s possible for each one of us. It takes patience, perseverance, self-belief and most importantly, self-kindness. Qualities we can all tap into, learn and develop.

Eight building blocks that help me to live well

Here are some helpful habits I have developed in my own life, over time. These are my building blocks; they provide a structure that helps me to live well.

1. Sleep: I make sure I get enough sleep. It’s crucial because it gives me energy and clarity of mind. It influences how I experience my day.

sleep, sleeping well, sleep hygiene

2. Yoga and meditation: When I get up, I do yoga first, then I meditate. It sets me up for the day – I feel grounded, connected to myself, at ease in the world. It’s crucial for my mental health.

3. Nature: I regularly spend time in nature – with my clients as many of you know -  but also on long walks in the countryside. A dear friend of mine and I go on a walk every month to maintain our friendship and because we both love being in nature. We’ve already put the dates for this year in our diaries!

4. Spontaneity and play: Something that often slips off my radar - but I am getting better at making time for doing nothing, for laughter, play, spontaneity. In particular, I have two friends who ignite my mischievous side. When we meet, we usually end up being silly and giggling a lot.

5. Friendships: I am someone who has fewer friends that I meet regularly. It helps me stay connected to others. I learned to be self-reliant from an early age and this is a helpful quality. But if I am not careful, I can isolate myself, which has a negative effect on my mental health.

6. Healthy food, little alcohol: I like to eat regularly and healthily. I don’t go overboard with elaborate recipes. I have a few meals that I know how to cook and once a month I try something new. I only have a glass of red wine when I go out for dinner. That way it’s a special treat.

7. Regular alone time: I make sure that I take myself on several solitary walks throughout the year to reflect, to restore, to enjoy my own company. It’s when I feel most creative, when I have my best ideas. I have already put these dates with myself in the diary for this year.

8. Healthy work habits: As someone who is self-employed this is particularly challenging. I am still learning how to be my own best boss and have a good work-life balance, which is paramount for my mental health.

What are your building blocks? Yours may be different from mine – different things nourish us and bring meaning into our life.

Ask yourself these questions:

1.     How do you spend your time?

2.     What makes your heart sing?

3.     What nourishes you, gives you energy?

4.     What stimulates your curiosity?

5.     Which activities make your life meaningful?

Spend some time this month finding out what helps you to truly live your life NOW, at this moment. Start small. You don’t need to have a long list of things straight away. Mine has grown over time.

Wishing you a joyful and fulfilling 2020.

As always, I’m curious to know how you are getting on. If you need some help, book a free initial coaching conversation with me while walking in beautiful Victoria park, or by phone or video call. Get in touch at karen@greenspacecoaching.com or call me on 07815 591279.

Or join one of my online mindfulness sessions .

You might also like to check out my free resources or sign up to my newsletter for practical tips and tools to enhance and enrich your day-to-day life.

alone time, me time, time out, rest