What helps you feel alive?
Lockdown has taken a toll on many of our lives. As it begins to sink in that life as we know it has changed forever, we are faced with the reality of how to adapt. For many of us, it has not been easy at all – there has been real hardship and loss. Some of us may be unable to see what the future holds and the uncertainty this brings is very difficult to manage.
Our inbuilt negativity bias, that is our hard-wired tendency to focus on the negative, can result in our becoming trapped in a downward spiral of negative thoughts and emotions (as discussed in my blog Choose how you respond to stress).
Engaging in activities that sustain and nourish us on a daily basis is vital. These experiences take us beyond the confines of daily life. They help us out of the negative spiral by bringing greater meaning to our life and giving us a sense of purpose.
These are the very experiences that underpin resilience, our ability to bounce back from adversity, to stand sturdy in our life when the going is tough.
What we dwell on, we become
Dwelling on the good stuff is far from self-indulgent, it is necessary for our mental wellbeing. What we dwell on, we become - this applies to enjoyable and difficult experiences.
Some of us may have engrained views that can be unhelpful for our wellbeing. Do you believe that you don’t deserve pleasant things? That you must work hard? That doing enjoyable things is self-indulgent or lazy? These are thoughts that are not true, and the very thing that keep us trapped and undermine our wellbeing.
Each one of us has a natural need to thrive, to be active, as well as slow down, to engage in enjoyable things, to connect, to restore, to be and do well. If this wasn’t true, what would the purpose of our life be?
Make time to reflect on what helps you feel alive
What do you truly enjoy doing in your life? What are the things that give you energy (verses those which drain your energy), that make your heart sing, the things that you have always wanted to do but never or rarely make time for?
If you are not sure what sustains you and/or where to start, here are some ideas:
Spend time in nature - in your garden or local park. Why not explore a new green space in your area or plan a walk in the countryside.
Meditation or contemplation (there are many free apps now with guided practices (such as Insight Timer).
Make time to reflect on your day, your week so that it doesn't pass by you without you noticing (see my blog on How to take time to reflect).
Have a meaningful conversation with a trusted friend about things that matter to you, how you experience your life right now vs what you have been doing.
Be still in one of your favourite places at home with a cup of tea without any distractions (phone, radio, TV) and just enjoy being, without thinking of the next thing to do – doing this for just 10 minutes every day can feel hugely restorative.
Get creative. Paint, draw or make something (e.g. learn how to make bread (it’s hugely satisfying), make greeting cards from old ones and send them to friends and family).
Reconnect with an instrument you once played.
Reflect daily on some good things that happened in your day. It's much easier to focus on what felt difficult or unpleasant. Positive and negative experiences happen daily in equal measure - we can train our mind to notice the good things more often. When someone asks you: “How was your day?”, notice where your mind goes to first, the stuff that you didn’t like, that didn’t work out or the stuff that you enjoyed?” Notice how it makes you feel.
Today - and during our current time of crisis – I feel nourished by activities such as gardening, meditation, yoga, listening to talks on topics I am interested in and that broaden my perspective on things, cycling, walking, spending time in nature and reading – I've just read Becoming Michelle Obama which hugely inspired me.
Need a little help to find out? Get in touch. Email me karen@greenspacecoaching.com or call 07815 591279 to book your free initial coaching conversation while walking in Victoria Park, East London or via phone or video call.
Also visit my Free Resources to enhance and enrich your life.