What the pandemic has taught me
I usually wake between 5.30 and 6am, make myself a cup of coffee and sit quietly in my comfy chair by the window overlooking the back garden. It’s in this early morning space that reflections and ideas come most naturally to me.
A recurring thought, not just for me I’m sure, is how odd life has been during this pandemic. Odd because it’s been so extra-ordinary, so different to what we knew, took for granted.
Despite all its tragedy, deaths, hardship and limitations, the pandemic has taught and reminded me of so many important things. I guess it’s part of the human condition that we learn most in crisis.
Some lessons learned from the pandemic
Lesson #1 Accepting uncertainty – letting go of needing to know
The pandemic stands for so many things in life that I can’t control. I’ve often found myself thinking, particular at the beginning: ‘Surely this can’t be true’ or ‘Surely this won’t go on for much longer’ or ‘Surely there must be a cure, and if not now, then very soon’…
Where in my head I’ve always known that life is uncertain, that we know nothing except what’s happening in this moment, the pandemic has taught me what uncertainty really feels like and it’s forced me to practice being with what is and not knowing what’s next.
It’s funny how we sometimes think we can pin life down and know what’s next. It’s just not the case.
Indeed, there have been many sobering moments when I realised: ‘Actually, nobody knows what’s going on, when it will end, what’s going to happen next.’
And where I have found life in this third lockdown harder – due to the darker time of year, I have found it easier to be with not knowing how life will unfold this year. I have stopped needing to know; I have stopped making plans (last year I spent all year wondering when I might be able to see my family in Germany again).
Letting go of needing to know has felt liberating because I’ve lived more in the moment than ever before. It has allowed me to focus more on what’s happening right now.
Lesson #2: Patience
I definitely had to practice patience; waiting for things to unfold.
I’ve never thought of myself as an impatient person but I’ve definitely hit my limitations; I had moments of wanting things to change NOW.
In a strange way, being patient has brought me a greater sense of freedom; freedom from needing to know and a freedom to just be.
When I stop needing to know, the tension that comes from always wanting something - wanting to know or wanting something to be different than it is – is released. Now I’m more in a place of: ‘Okay, let’s see what’s going to happen next, let’s see when I might be able to see my family again, go on retreat, have a holiday.
Lesson #3: Simplicity
I have enjoyed the simplicity of life during lockdown. Not needing to travel, to be in different places in one day; not needing to worry so much about what to wear every day. And not needing to go to the shops – apart from food shopping of course - for someone who doesn’t like shopping it’s been a blessing.
My life has felt less complex and packed; more manageable and spacious. Simpler and more meaningful as a result.
Lesson #4: The value of friendship
I’ve always known how important friendship has been in my life but the pandemic has added a deeper layer of understanding. This has certainly also to do with age. Looking back, when I was in my 20s and 30s I definitely took my friends for granted.
Today, and even more so now, I know this is not true. My friendships are the most precious thing in life. I also now know that good, close, enduring friendships, take effort, time, openness, forgiveness, kindness and compassion – a willingness to be in touch regularly, to share what’s going on, to let the other take part in one’s life. In lockdown I’ve felt more than ever that connecting with friends brings me true joy (it lifts my heart), satisfaction, safety and trust in life.
Lesson #5: Life is fragile
Life is fragile. Unbelievably fragile. Again, not something I didn’t know intellectually. But the pandemic forced me to feel it in my body; how thin the wall is between life and death; how life can end in any moment.
At the beginning of the pandemic I suffered from existential angst, mostly in the night when I would wake up feeling very anxious and panicked. It still happens sometimes. I talked with my mentor about it and she said that existential angst, particularly in the night, indicates one’s un-readiness to embrace death. Interesting. It gave me much food for thought.
As odd as this testing, difficult time has been, it’s also brought me many riches, insights, new understandings. It has forced me to look at myself, to grapple, to see how life really is: cruel, tragic, transient as well as deeply meaningful and joyful. Life really isn’t just black and white.
What has the pandemic taught you?
Why not take a moment to reflect on the things that you have learned, understood, seen…?
As always, I’d love to hear from you.
If you need a little help, drop me a line to arrange your free initial coaching conversation: karen@greenspacecoaching.com
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