Intuitive Counselling…Posted by in Reflections
Introducing my dear friend Mili
If I had to describe my work in one sentence, I’d say I’m a mirror, helping my clients to connect to the wisdom they already have within. Mili Kaikkonen
I’ve been musing this week just how wonderful it is to make space to learn from others who touch our lives; to strive for a generous, open heart which allows us to benefit from the connection we make with people who share our passions, goals and outlook on life, and likewise, learn from those who see things differently.
Last week I interviewed Mili, whom I met some years ago at Friends of the Earth where we both worked alongside our respective counselling and coaching practices. We soon discovered that we had a strong common interest in personal growth, healing and spirituality. We became friends and have since continuously supported each other’s work and exchanged personal and professional life experience which has been fun and enriching all along.
Mili works in Helsinki and London offering intuitive consultations to individuals and groups. She also gives lectures and is currently working on a new spiritual awareness training programme which will start in the autumn in Helsinki and a book on the ethics of holistic healing practices – guidelines for practitioners and clients.
What is intuitive counselling?
I’m not a fortune teller. In a nutshell, I help people reconnect with themselves. I give them reassurance, new perspectives, confirmation, courage and some faith. I help people to realise their dreams. Sometimes I also help people explore future possibilities and revisit some things that happened in the past, in order to understand them better and to move on from there.
Why did you become an intuitive counsellor?
I’ve always been very intuitive and aware of all sorts of things invisible to the eye. Although my family was in no way religious, as a little girl, I was cultivating a personal spiritual practice which nobody had taught me to do. I was always aware of the pain other people were feeling.
Around 12 years ago the ‘calling’ got so strong that I decided to start exploring ways to make a living out of the healing arts. Many years of self reflection, study and training of the mind followed.
Tell me something about the people you work with? How has your work influenced their lives, and what they do?
I work with people from all walks of life, mainly women and men between 25 and 55. Often the issues revolve around feeling stuck or desperate, work, relationships or gaining more clarity in one’s life. More and more often people come because they are interested in their spiritual path, and how to improve their wellbeing in a more holistic way.
What inspires you?
- Forgiveness: It really inspires me when people let go of their past and allow themselves to be free. I know from personal experience how challenging, painful and freeing it can be. Forgiving ourselves is often the hardest part.
- Random acts of goodness and people who have the courage to go against the grain to follow their dreams.
- Authenticity – accepting ourselves as we are making peace with our shadow sides as well as the parts of us that we like. All of us are angry, sad, jealous, aggressive, insecure, happy, loving, beautiful, trusting, honest etc. It’s all there.
What are the three most important things in your life?
- Knowing that all is one.
- My relationship with my life partner – the biggest, most wonderful and challenging thing in my life
- My family – and by family I don’t necessarily mean only my blood family but close friends who are like my family. I sometimes call it my soul family.
When are you happiest?
Little things that come from the heart make me happy – mostly to do with people I love, eg when I wake up in the morning and my partner brings me a cup of coffee in bed or when I connect with a good friend. I’m also very happy when I’m alone in nature, in deep dark Finnish woods and connecting with the earth and the elements around me.
What is the most important lesson life has taught you (so far…)?
That I can’t do it all and it’s okay to look after myself before looking after other people!
What is your most overused phrase?
This is not a goal-driven performance! I use this phrase with myself and clients alike. When clients come to me they often look for personal growth and put themselves under pressure to get there. But spiritual growth is about being here and now, and that can never be goal driven.
Who is your greatest role model or hero?
There are lots of people whom I really respect such as Byron Katie – an American speaker and author who teaches a method of self-inquiry known as “The Work of Byron Katie“. It’s an amazing tool for transformation and personal growth. Katie really brings out how we relate to the world.
Another inspiring person for me is my colleague, teacher and beloved friend Lisa Magdalena – an amazing woman who has had a big influence on my path.
What is your greatest fear and how do you live with it?
Fear of abandonment. I’ve really had to work on the realisation that I’m good enough just as I am. When I’m afraid of being abandoned it’s usually an echo from the past that I’m projecting into the future. When I feel fearful I just try to get grounded and remind myself that all is well.
How do you relax?
I like cycling and walking. And I also really like reading and being in my own space. I’m more of an introvert so I need to spend time with myself every so often. I also relax by doing very mundane things like eating good food, having a glass of wine, spending time with friends to whom I’m just Mili – and not Mili the counsellor or spiritual teacher.
What are you working on at the moment?
I’m working on a new spiritual awareness training programme which will start in the autumn in Helsinki. The programme aims to help people ground themselves and to develop their self awareness. It’s about giving people the tools for authentic growth so that they can make their personal spiritual practice part of their daily life.
I’m also working on a book on ethics of holistic healing practices – there are currently no professional guidelines available. There are lots of really good people doing amazing work, but unfortunately there’s also a lot of egoism and misuse of power, which can lead to real problems when people are vulnerable and not sure of themselves. My aim is to help clients understand what’s acceptable and what isn’t, and give some food for thought for practitioners, sharing what I’ve heard and learned during the years I’ve worked in this field. All being well, the book should be out in 2013.
What is something you look forward to every day?
I look forward to my work every day! I also look forward to being me every day. I’m 36 now and I’m only now realising what being me means.
What does being you mean to you?
Fully accepting that I’m perfect in my imperfection and it’s all okay.
My warms thanks to Mili.
Mili trained at the College of Psychic Studies in London, the Holistic College of Eastbourne where she is now a course tutor, and the Institute of Inner Study in Bali, Indonesia. She also has more than 10 years of management experience with non-profit organisations and over the past fifteen years has worked in both the Far East and the UK. She currently divides her time between Helsinki and London. Mili is approved and registered with Healer Practitioner Association International (HPAI) in the UK. To get in touch with Mili and to find out more about her work, please visit her website: http://milikai.com/